The Magical Mystery Tour: Day 5 - Honey Badger Don't Care

Saturday morning I awoke from a very intense dream, in which I was driving through Shenandoah National Park and the mountains were volcanoes and they were erupting all over the flippin’ place. That seemed like a rather odd dream to have, especially given that the only negative issues that I had in Shenandoah were those creepy deer. It did have the benefit of putting me on edge enough in my sleep that when I woke up I was wide awake. I always appreciate that, so long as it doesn’t happen in the middle of the night. (Later on I realized what had triggered my dream. Among her Mad Science gear, Stephenie had a small model volcano sitting on the floor of the computer/guest room. I assume I spotted it, even if I didn’t realize it, and subconsciously absorbed it into my dream. The brain is a funny thing. Volcanoes, on the other hand, are not funny. You never laugh at a volcano.)

We had no major plans today, until a game night this evening, so Steph and I proceeded to enjoy a very leisurely Saturday (alas, Evan had to do some work to make up for the time he missed seeing to his not-a-wedding the previous day.) There was a little wedding planning talk, and when we got around to the subject of dresses I mentioned the infinity dress (I think there are a variety of names, but essentially it’s a dress that can be worn in a variety of configurations.) After some Googling for pictures Stephenie seemed interested and she went to find her fabric stash. In it we found some sheer black fabric with a red glitter design all over it and some old green curtains --- we were about to go a little Gone With The Wind with things. 

Steph and I are both fairly resourceful when it comes to the making of something (I mean, have you seen our Christmas stocking work?) but we were kind of working without a net on this one. While we had a decent tutorial to go from, we lacked an actual pattern, and the tutorial did not give us any direction as to how to make the circle skirt portion of the dress. There was much fabric folding and measuring (with a string, not a tape measure) and we did a couple of practice runs with a piece of paper so we finally got it figured out, cut the fabric, and Steph began sewing the skirt pieces together. (It would have been really handy if we’d had a giant compass.) Once that portion was assembled, Steph slipped it on, but it was slightly big --- as in we needed to cut out more than one fourth of the entire skirt. Still not sure how me messed that up, but better it be cut too big than too small. We attached the two long strips that make up the top of the dress and began playing around with wrap-and-tie options. I think there were a few glitches in our very quickly made prototype which were minor hindrances, but in general we got the idea. Even if it’s not a good design for a wedding/bridesmaid dress, it’d be good for an everyday one. The major downside of this whole production --- the red glitter fabric left it’s little glitter babies all over the damn apartment, and us. We were noticing the shimmery bits on each other when Stephenie told me that Evan’s dad calls glitter the herpes of the craft world. Never were truer words spoken. 

(*No pictures of the dress are included because (1) there are still some kinks to work out and (2) the whole bottom half was made of sheer material and there’s no need to be lewd on the internet, now is there.)

Craft time being over, we settled in on the couch for an educating exploration into one of modern America’s most intriguing anthropological studies --- Beauty and the Geek. (And yes, I mean the reality show where the hot girls and the dorky guys are teamed up in a battle royale for semi-generous cash prizes. And no, it’s not still on the air --- we were watching season one, which Steph has on her hard drive.) Evan did not join us for this portion of the afternoon, though eventually he did emerge from the computer/guest room to insist that we get out of the house (in a “let’s go do something” way not in a “get the hell out, bitches” way.) We made our way to Evan’s car (the doors of which I always slam, for some reason) and decided to head out for frosty beverages. While imbibing we got into a discussion about names, and I may have named Steph & Evan’s future child --- rest assured it is not “Carrie.”

We made a beer run and returned home to ready ourselves for game night. Stephenie has been talking about playing The Settlers of Catan for the past couple years, really giving me the hard sell on its greatness. While my board game comfort zone is generally in the realm of Trivial Pursuit, I was expecting to be developing a society on the island of Catan this evening. Things took a slightly different path. Sean, a friend of The Gang’s (how have I not started referring to Stephenie, Roxane, Evan, and Jerimee as The Gang from Raleigh already? It’s so adorable.) brought over a game called Trumpet, which is evidently one of those games that board game playing connoisseur’s enjoy. Trumpet is both a board game and a card game, and I was told that the principles are similar to Hearts or Spades. The problem there is that I’ve never played Hearts or Spades, so I failed to grasp some of the basics, for example how to not “cheat” in the very first round/hand/whatever. (I still maintain that it’s not really cheating if you don’t know that you’re cheating. Others disagreed, so I threw some mens rea at them (lawyered) and we moved on. My cheating didn’t help me anyway.) By the second round through Jerimee had gone outside to play with some kids, Roxane saying that he just did that because he didn’t like the game. I contemplated joining him, but decided to stay the course. Even after several hands I’m still not really getting it, but I have managed to avoid any further “cheating” scandals. I am having a hard time not referring to the Club suit as “clovers” or “shamrocks” --- they are green, after all. The game is coming to a close, and some how I’m in the equivalent of second place (truly I have no idea how that happened) but Stephenie wins it all. No offense to Sean or the game’s creators but my entire self worth has been shaken by my inability to understand this damn game. I could try to blame it on my being an only child and having limited card game playing experience (aside from Solitaire and playing poker with my grandfather during my formative years) but I’m actually wondering if my being a far cry from a card shark (“card sharp” is also an acceptable term) is why I don’t have a job. (I understand this is an absolutely ridiculous and illogical leap, but you never know.) 

Once we’ve finished up with Trumpet we break out Cranium and bust up into teams. I am anticipating feeling much better about myself during the second half of game night. I may not be awesome at Cranium but I at least understand the basic concepts of blind contour line drawing and trivia questions. Cranium went well, which is to say that the team of Stephenie, Roxane, & Carrie totally dominated. After our win we decided to just keep going with the charades portion, and boy am I glad that we did. I never knew this before, but I’m kind of awesome at charades. Not so much the performing part, but the guessing stuff I got down. One of the Jason’s (I believe there were three there) had to act out Afternoon Delight and I actually guessed it. I was proud. (Right now I kind of feel pathetic about the level of pride I felt, given that we are talking about charades here, but it’s the little things that make life worth living.)

Charades eventually succumbed to entropy (a word I truly love, but rarely get to use) and various peoples returned to their homes, their cars, or the homes or cars of others. A few people lingered, among them “The Gang’s” friend Dave, who asked if I’d ever seen the honey badger video. I had not, but was hesitant to volunteer this information due to the number of times I’ve been psychologically scarred by someone ambushing me with an unsettling YouTube video. I owned up to my unfamiliarity and the computer’s web browser was directed to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg . Do yourself a favor and watch this if you haven’t already. You will not regret it, unless you’re like Steph and have a nightmare about snakes later. (BTW, I just rewatched the honey badger video and it’s still good even when it’s not 3 am.)

Bed.

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The Magical Mystery Tour: Day 4 - No, she's not pregnant.

When you visit Stephenie and Evan you sleep in the computer room (they have lots in the way of computers.) Given my late arrival last night I slept a little late Friday morning. A tap on the door woke me up, with Evan requesting the use of his computer (um, what am I gonna say? No? It is his house.) and Stephenie asking me if I wanted to go to the court house to see them get married (I love the nonchalance of her invitation, but again, what am I gonna say? No? I would kick me out for such insolence.) For some background - Steph and Evan got engaged in early June and are planning a wedding for September 2012 (and, pending a small fee to a somewhat reputable website, I’m officiating, thus avoiding the wearing of any sort of taffeta or tulle.) That plan is still on, and that will be their real wedding, but given the practicalities of health insurance and the like, we’d all be paying a visit to the local magistrate today. This was to simply be a formality, a not-a-wedding if you will. I did insist that Stephenie adhere to the old-new-borrowed-blue tradition to avoid tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing. If you’re interested she had an old (but cute) purple dress, new bangs, borrowed shoes, and blue on her necklace. I was satisfied.

We cleaned out my car (read: moved all the trash, clothes, and thimbles from the front into the trunk) and headed over to pick up Roxane. We waited in the parking lot for Ms. Kolar to make her appearance, which she shortly did --- wearing basically the same purple dress as Steph. Hilarious. Evan was going to have to be careful to marry the right girl or things could get a bit awkward. We made our way downtown, parked on the street, and headed to the first of two stops, to pick up the marriage license. To pick up said license you evidently need to know where your parents were born. Evan was unsure about where his dad was born, so he called his mom but had to leave a message. Next we headed over to the court house for the main event, me continually laughing at the matching purple dresses thing. (I was reminded of the How I Met Your Mother when Marshall and Lily decide to get married in Atlantic City and Robin has to get the tshirt with the giant boobs airbrushed on it to wear over her outfit because Lily thinks Robin looks cuter and you’re not allowed to look cuter than the bride. Stephenie was not so demanding.)

Digression: I recognize how impressive it is that future Ted on How I Met Your Mother can remember events not only with such accuracy but also with such dependable chronology. It occurred to me recently that this is probably due to everyone alive right now updating their Facebook pages so regularly. (Yes, I understand that How I Met Your Mother is a scripted television show and that Ted isn’t a real person, remembering his younger years and telling his kids about it. I’m just very comfortable with a willing suspension of disbelief.) The Facebook world we now live in will now possibly lead to all the little spawn of my contemporaries being privy to how their parents started their lives together. I think this is kinda nice, though also potentially awkward, gross, and psychologically scarring if folks don’t self-police some of their postings.

We eventually found the courtroom where they do the not-a-wedding ceremonies, with only about 25 minutes to spare before the two hour lunch break (we really needed to get this done soon because Evan still needed to go to work this afternoon, plus we didn’t put a ton of money on the meter and my car could potentially be ticketed, booted, and/or towed.) There were three or four groups gathered outside the courtroom, all ahead of us, so we took a seat and waited. During our wait Evan’s mom called him back, and  that’s when he told her they were getting not-married. Poor Evan’s Mom. Also, FYI, Evan’s dad was born in Hickory, but I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced “Hick-ry.” 

We passed the time as best we could while waiting for the other not-weddings to take place. Someone said something about the judge “pussy footing” around in there and that’s why things were taking so long. I felt that I should advise everyone that on Day One of law school they teach you not to say “pussy footing” in a courtroom. True fact. Evan took a wedding picture for one of the other couples. That was nice. One other couple had a full-on, multiple camera having, photographer in tow. That seemed like overkill to me. I took a pic of Steph and Evan waiting for their turn but that hallway had some of the worst lighting ever. It should not make it into the wedding album. It was finally our turn but it was after the official, posted time frame. Thankfully Judge Rowland didn’t balk, and said he’d just need a couple of minutes to get the paper work in order, and he stepped into the next room. While we were waiting alone in the courtroom Evan contemplated having a seat in the Judge’s chair and kicking his feet up on the bench. I advised against it --- they cover that on Day Two of law school.

The ceremony commenced, with me taking pictures and Roxane videoing it on her phone. Now, this is just a civil ceremony, so I at least was expecting few bells or whistles. While Judge Rowland did keep it short, he did go rather heavy on the “God.” I actually think I might have been to a church ceremony with fewer mentions of The Big Guy/George Burns/Alanis Morrisette. Roxane and I were both amused, given Stephenie and Evan’s, shall we say, disinterest in religion. Vows were exchanged (though I do not remember what they said --- I know there was no “obey” included) and Roxane and I did our part and signed off as witnesses. Yay not-a-wedding!

We departed, heading to my hopefully un-booted car, and then on to a delicious lunch/not-a-wedding reception. (The pear sangria was especially good.) The only song I remember us hearing in the car was Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas, so I guess that’s their not-a-wedding song, and now that I think about it, it should really be on the playlist for the real wedding. Roxane also made a brief stop at the store next to the restaurant and picked up a cute new gothic/little-house-on-the-prairie dress and some kickin’ pink sunglasses. We returned to the apartment where Evan departed for work, and we played with Harry Potter buttons for a while. 

Eventually Steph had to go do some work for Jerimee, so Roxane and I had our own playtime. I’d given her a Lisa Frank stationary set for her birthday so we played with it a bit (some of the little kitten erasers seemed to have permanently bonded to the stencil-ruler) and we considered using the enclosed form to join the Lisa Frank fan club. We explored Lisa Frank’s Facebook page, where there are some quite avid Lisa Frank fans; some of them even do their own Lisa Frank inspired works of art and post them. Do yourself a favor and check it out. This did make us a bit curious about whether Lisa Frank was even a real person so we headed over to Wikipedia. It turns out she is, and she met with early success. I was also telling Roxane about the random Johnny Appleseed statue that I saw in Virginia, so naturally we looked up Johnny Appleseed. Among other things it appears he was a missionary for the Swedenborgian Church. What is the Swedenborgian Church, you’re wondering? Well, so were we so we looked that up. It had nothing to do with Star Trek, like I was suspecting. But it was started by Emanuel Swedenborg, who believed he could commune with other planets, but not Uranus. (Insert “Uranus” joke here.) (And insert “insert Uranus” joke here.) We were highly entertained by it all.

Stephenie finally made it back with the makings for mimosas which we brewed up and poured into our very lady like plastic cups for a stroll down to The Rose Garden, a potential wedding location. Wedding planning is delicious, even if I can’t walk and take a drink at the same time. There was talk of various weddingish things --- the ceremony is likely to occur right in front of the koi pond/fountain which means I’m probably going to fall into the koi pond/fountain, so that’s worth your price of admission right there. We also talked about table decor, and I mentioned that one time I’d seen lemons used as place cards, when Stephenie said something along the lines of “what do you do with all the leftover lemons” and I had the opportunity to reply “Stephenie, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.” It made me laugh, anyway.

We got back home, where Jerimee shortly joined us, and Steph gave us a rundown of her reception song list. Let’s just say that it’s chock full of 80’s goodness. But no Poison. Evan has put his foot down on that one. Next, out for pizza, followed by......Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2!!! We were going to the same theater that we saw part 1 in, and mostly I was just hoping that none of our fellow moviegoers would vomit, like last time. FYI, we were at the theater that serves beer, and some people just can’t hold their magic. I was delighted to see that the concessioneers had put out a “Dumbledore’s Army” tip jar. If I’d had any cash I would have contributed. The movie got going, no vomit detected, and I was happily sucked right in. Nothing really broke my concentration until I realized that the lady next to me had unfurled a blanket, fallen asleep, and was snoring. Falling asleep in a movie is one thing, but on opening night?

Even though I’d forgotten my wand and my Marauder’s Map, we all had buttons and a lovely movie experience. All was well.