Unburdening my soul...

Those who know me well might say that I have a somewhat casual relationship with the truth. While I don’t think of myself as a dishonest person by any means, I’m not shy about “writing fiction with my mouth” when there’s a need to jazz up a story, avoid an awkward situation, or even just for sport. And while I do think I have some skill, I’m very much of the use-your-power-for-good-not-evil school of thought. I won’t lie in regard to any serious matters, nor do I have any oppressively large or convoluted lies that I have to keep a handle on. Except one. And given that I’ve decided to do this whole blog-my-thoughts thing I’m going to attempt to kick things off with a declaration of honesty; until 4:51 am on August 15, 2011 I had never read To Kill A Mockingbird.

Now, even accounting for the fact that I’m a somewhat avid reader, it’s not really a big deal that I haven’t read any particular book, even one so universally read as this one. (Though the fact that I’m not only from the southland (Georgia not Alabama) and that I’m a lawyer does make me feel like quite the fraud. I’ve always hoped that the significant amount of Matlock episodes that I have absorbed would make up for this.) I’m still uncertain as to what sort of reception I would meet were I to walk into a room full of members of the Georgia Bar and announce my unfamiliarity with Atticus Finch. Putting aside the oddity of making literary confessions at a Continuing Legal Education seminar, I’m fairly certain it would elicit some strange looks, and possibly the revocation of my license to practice law. 

My dishonesty regarding To Kill A Mockingbird stretches back well beyond even my applications to law school, though I’m not entirely sure where it began. At some point it just became a socially accepted given that everyone had read To Kill A Mockingbird or at the very least, seen the movie (I still haven’t done that by the way.) I don’t recall ever actually telling anyone “yes, I’ve read that book” or anything so direct. It was more like nodding along in conversations about it. Making a reference to it here or there. I even discussed a business venture with a former coworker involving us opening a bar in Athens called Tequila Mockingbird (you know you love it) where our signature drink would be the Boo Radley (made up primarily of bourbon --- recipe’s still in the works.) The conversations would go on for a bit, but I’d gradually change the subject --- not too quick though, because that’s a dead giveaway that you’re hiding something. Over the years my secret, unimportant though it was, just grew increasingly overwhelming. I kept thinking that I had to read it, but I didn’t want to leave a “paper trail” so I couldn’t borrow it from anyone, and I didn’t want to buy it or check it out of the library because, of course, I should already own it and who wants to deal with the public shaming that would come when the lady at the Borders straight up asks me if I’ve read it before?

Thankfully, a series of recent events led me to actually run the gauntlet and read this book, releasing me from my cage of lies: my friend Jason pushing me to read The Hunger Games series, my new daily log project, and my soon-to-be cousin Harper’s forthcoming birth. 

Jason and The Hunger Games were kind of the spark for me. I won’t go into too much detail but in the books there are birds called mockingjays which are spawned from mockingbirds, and of course if you hear/read the word “mockingbird” and you’ve been living under an oppressive cloud of literary guilt you think To Kill A Mockingbird.

My log project (as in log book, not log cabin) is a really simple thing, but it seems to have had a profound effect on me. I saw somewhere online where this person had a bunch of index cards in a file, one for each day of the year, and on each card you write one thing that you did that day, but the twist is you cycle back through the cards year after year so eventually you have a card that says “August 15 2011 - Finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird. 2012 - Went to Sweetwater Creek State Park. 2013 - Defended the Earth from alien invaders." And so on. So in addition to just keeping track of your daily goings on, after you get the first year done, you’ll get a little blast from the past each year following. I’ve never been able to keep a journal for more than a few days, but this ‘one thing a day’ deal seemed much more manageable to me so I thought I’d try it, though I’ve gone with a journal instead of index cards. The way this fits in with To Kill A Mockingbird is that keeping track of what you do every day, even the mundane stuff, makes me want to do something at least moderately interesting. It’s been a real boost to my activities (I’m actually cleaning! A little.) And I decided that I should take advantage of my new found go-getterness and read this damn book.

My forthcoming cousin, Harper, is so named by her parents after Harper Lee herself. Also, I just think Harper is a pretty cool little name --- both cute and respectable for when she’s older and dominating in whatever career she so chooses. My Baby Harper related reasons are two fold. For one, I can’t meet this little girl and not have read her pseudo-namesake book --- I’d feel like a fraud all over again. And two, there are the future gifts I plan to bestow on her. I’m not going to drown the kid in Harper Lee related paraphernalia but of course there will be some nods to her (btw, her big brother is Henry David so he gets a bit of Thoreau love.) My current lack of employment/winning lottery ticket coupled with my genuine preference for making gifts means Harper’s likely to be getting some of my handiwork. I’m a fan of a good quote, particularly when rendered in some artsy-crafty way, but I don’t love pulling a blind quote out of context when you’re unfamiliar with the source. (To clarify, I love it when Jon Stewart does it, but that’s a whole different barrel of monkeys.) I needed to read the book so that I’d know what to make for Harper. 

Now, for the actual reading. Going in, I knew I was going to love the book. Yes, it’s a classic, but that doesn’t always result in you liking it. (I mean, have you read Ethan Frome?) Sometimes you just know that you’re going to bond with a book or a movie or even a city before you’ve ever laid eyes on it. I was not disappointed. 

Since everyone else in the world has read To Kill A Mockingbird I’ll skip a review of the story. (Though are there book reviews newly written for old books? I think it’d be a nice touch to slip those in among the stuff coming out today.) I will say that I was consistently charmed by Scout telling the story but her frequently not understanding what was going on. Also, I’m amazed that I hadn’t been spoiler-ed into knowing the major events of the book, the fates of Misters Robinson and Radley in particular. Also, I love the brother-sister dynamics between Scout and Jem. It only fuels my life-long desire for a brother. It also makes me glad that little Harper is going to have her big brother Henry to look out for her and aggravate her to pieces.

PS - Shortly after I finished writing the above I find myself watching Now and Then, a movie I have seen countless times, and I’m realizing now how very like Mockingbird the plot of the movie is. I’m probably going to start seeing it everywhere now.

My now read copy of Mockingbird, complete with post-it notations.