Sunday was a gloriously lazy day. I loosely planned my course home for the next couple of days. We watched a little Arrested Development (which always makes me want a chocolate dipped frozen banana) and Stephenie made a delicious dinner --- using my coal mining sauce on the chicken which worked out well. After dining we went to watch the night’s episode of True Blood with Roxane and Jerimee. With the exception of some minor exposition for Evan and Steph, who’d never watched the show before (I may have coined the term “rehymenated”) the night was pretty uneventful. For that reason this is about to turn into a post on fictional vampires (as opposed to the nonfiction ones.)
Given the seeming ubiquity of vampires in the world today I’m feeling a little introspective about my own vampire experiences. I wouldn’t say that they’ve had a significant role in my life, and I’m quite glad that I had an adolescence that lacked a “Vampire” section of the book store. Even still, I can’t ignore the presence that these bloodsuckers have had in my little corner of society.
The earliest memory I have of a good vampire movie is The Lost Boys, and who could deny it’s awesomeness? You get all that undead action, plus the Coreys. I think Kiefer Sutherland was especially effective as a bad guy vampire (and I love that Dad came along a few years later to train up a Slayer) but I never really loved him until he was Jack Bauer. Evidently I only appreciate torture and violence when it’s done in the name of national security.
I watched Bram Stoker’s Dracula (that’s the early 90s Coppola version) an inordinate number of times, and I still think it’s a good movie, but I have my qualms. The most significant limit, in my mind, is Gary Oldman himself. Don’t get me wrong, amazing actor. He totally makes me weak in the knees in True Romance and The Professional. And Sirius Black comes in a close second to Professor Snape in my lovable wizards list. But I feel absolutely no thrall from him as Dracula, even as the young and supposedly attractive Dracula. Nothing at all. Call me crazy, but Dracula should be chock full of smoldering magnetism and there was none here. In truth, I’ve never met a Dracula that lived up to my expectations. You do, at least, get to see Tom Waits as Renfield here.
By the time I hit ninth grade the entire school (read: the 12 or so people I sat with in the corner of the courtyard at lunch) was aflame with Anne Rice-itis. I was no different. Books were read. Interview was seen at the theater. And the school was abuzz with the hotness of Louis and Armand. But probably my favorite vampire cinema experience is From Dusk Till Dawn. Robert Rodriguez is excellent. Plus you get Quentin Tarantino. This is also the movie that made me love George Clooney. A lot. And I must give some major credit to Salma Hayek for being a ridiculously hot lady vampire (until she actually turns into a vampire, then not so much.)
When Buffy the Vampire Slayer in its television form came about, I scoffed. I liked the campiness of the movie, such as it was (hello, Paul Reubens’ death scene alone!), but didn’t see how that would work on tv so I didn’t bother. Then, my first year of college my friend Nina and I were sharing a crush on our British Lit professor when she commented that he reminded her of Giles. Who is Giles? I asked. She was quite surprised that I wasn’t a Buffy viewer, saying that I “seemed” like one. (In retrospect, I know that she was calling me a nerd, but I’m cool with that. I am one, and proud. She was too.) I consulted with Stephenie, already an avid fan, and joined the ranks myself. Years later, I am a total Whedon acolyte. While my heart belongs to Giles (Nina was so right) Angel and Spike are the principal vampires in this little world. With Angel you get tall beautifulness, but with a fair amount of whining --- unless he’s evil and in leather pants, which is a whole different story. With Spike you get comic relief in the form of a blonde, accent having, bad-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold which is one of my favorites.
The next wave of vampirey stuff I was aware of came in the form of the True Blood/Twilight surge of 2008. I got swept up in both. With Twilight, before I really knew what I was getting into I had read all the books. I felt kinda used and dirty afterward. With True Blood I skipped the books, but am sufficiently hooked on the show. I find almost everyone incredibly irritating (I could kick Tara in the face) but I’m a total sucker for Eric, another of those blonde, accent having, bad-guys-with-a-heart-of-gold.
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| *Inclusion of a vampire does not constitute endorsement of said vampire. |
All said, these bloody vampires have been with me for a while. If there really are vampires in the world, they are doing an excellent job at infiltrating the media in order lull us into feelings of security and familiarity for when they decide to mainstream. I just wish I had a clear memory of The Count from Sesame Street giving me a numbers lesson. Then I’d feel complete.
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