Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Magical Mystery Tour: Day 7 - I Don't Mind the Gap


Today, I will be saying goodbye to Raleigh. After a brief morning visit with Steph I headed out. Before I was too far outside of Raleigh I found myself desirous of some elevensies and I spotted a sign for a Sheetz convenience store. I’m always on the lookout for a cool new roadside stop. After WaWa’s of the Mid-Atlantic and the amazing Buc-ee’s in Texas, I kinda feel like I’m developing a sense for these things. I’d never been to a Sheetz before, but I got good vibes. And I liked the font on their sign --- it had a retro feel to it. Unfortunately, it was not a great experience. Their road snack selection was subpar and the clerk was pretty rude. No gusto.

My first official stop for the day was going to be in Mount Airy, NC which is the home town of Andy Griffith. That basically means that I was going to Mayberry itself, and I was excited. I made my way to downtown “Mayberry” and did a fair amount of walking around. I heard the chimes from the big town clock as well as hearing the show’s theme song coming out of every other store front I passed. (Official title is The Fishin’ Hole, if you’re interested.) I popped into the Snappy Lunch (boy, was that place hoppin’) for a soda pop. I had been contemplating getting a haircut at Floyd’s Barber Shop, but the line for that was out the door, and if it’s not the real Floyd doing the cutting really, what’s the point? Instead I ambled down to a gift shop to pick up the standard bits you’d pick up at such a place. My favorite of all my souvenir purchases was actually one for me. It’s a bullet. Now this may seem an out of place purchase for me, given that I’m not exactly an NRA member, but I can explain. It’s all about Barney Fife. For anyone who grew up with TBS --- or more specifically, anyone who has experienced a rain delay during a Braves game --- you’ve likely seen an episode of The Andy Griffith Show where you learn that Deputy Fife isn’t permitted to carry a loaded gun. Andy makes Barney keep his one bullet in his shirt pocket so no ‘major incidents’ occur. Well, the lovely little gift shop that I visited had a “Barney’s Bullet” keychain available and I snapped it up.


Digression: Back on Day 1 of my little tour, while sitting around drinking at DL, Evan started examining my key ring. Me being a girl and all, it’s pretty heavily populated with various key chains, along with actual keys. He talked me into tossing some of the ballast overboard. In all honesty I have no need for the CVS card that I never use or the key to condo in Midtown, the inhabitants of which I no longer know. So I let him conduct a mini-purge of my keyring. Evan suggested that I ditch all the superfluous keybits and get a bottle opener on there, but I just can’t get rid of Superman. I’ve had him with me for well over a decade. Now he has the bullet to keep him company.
In addition to the small town charm that abounds in Mount Airy, I was very pleased to see that this real world Mayberry appeared to be very multicultural. On-screen Mayberry is pretty much as white as baby powder, so seeing any non-Aryan types around was very nice. Another interesting bit I noticed about the Mount Airy area, lots of places seemed to be named with quickness in mind. There was, of course, The Snappy Lunch which was a featured establishment on the show, but I also saw The Speedy Chef and ASAP Restaurant. Not to be all City Mouse about things, but Mount Airy did not seem like the type of place that is especially bustling so I’m a bit stymied as to what the big food hurry is. Though, as I was on my way out of town I guess I picked up the speediness vibe because I was driving a little faster than the posted limit (which is to say, I was driving as I normally drive) as I passed a local law enforcement officer. Fortunately he didn’t budge, but it almost would have been worth it to get a ticket in Mayberry.
I was planning to end my day at Cumberland Gap National Park which meant I was basically going to be driving west along Virginia’s southern border. I decided --- with the help of Roadside America --- to make a stop in Bristol, which is right on the Virginia-Tennessee line, and is the official Birthplace of Country Music. When I first saw that such a place existed I was thrilled. While I don’t often tune in to the Country music of today (honestly, most of it seems like poppish crap to me) I love the “mountain music” of old. I was less than thrilled when I saw that the museum honoring said birthplace was in a mall. As underwhelming as that was to hear, it was on my way, and I do love those cute little random museums (though I typically prefer them in quaint downtown buildings or somewhat dilapidated structures in the country) so I decided to pay it a visit. 
While the Bristol mall may house a treasure trove of Country Music Memorabilia, it’s somewhat lacking in retail appeal. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by the glitz and glamor of Douglasville’s Mall at Arbor Place? I did eventually make it into the museum itself. While it was a little small, it did have some very cool bits of history in there. I was really hoping that they’d have a copy of Mother Maybelle’s Cookbook available for sale. There was one on display in the Carter Family section of the museum, but no go on obtaining my own. It’s a shame. I bet that’d be a good seller for the museum. I settled for picking up a Maybelle CD, which was especially appropriate given that I was next heading for the Carter Family Fold. (The internet tells me that there is a fancy new Birthplace of Country Music Center in the works, complete with assistance from the Smithsonian. I wish them well, and would be delighted to visit the new place when it’s all done.)
Sidebar: If you think you’re unfamiliar with the musical stylings and influences of the Carter Family, you’re wrong. Seriously, hit up Wikipedia and you’ll see. In addition to being a significant part of the foundation of both Country and Folk music, June Carter happened to marry a gentleman named Johnny Cash. Him you’ve heard of.
The Carter Family Fold, is a music venue situated in Hiltons, VA (read: middle of nowhere) which is the original home of the Carter family. It’s situated on A.P. Carter Highway, which is part of The Crooked Road (Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail). I actually didn’t know The Crooked Road was a thing until I was driving down it, but they have the cutest little signs with banjos on them. It was pretty country to drive through, too, except for the heebie jeebies I got from this truck that was following me. It was really ridiculous. Granted, I was on a lonely mountain road, surrounded my ramshackle dwellings, and being followed by a spooky truck, but there was no need for some of the driving antics I performed. I’ll spare you the details and just say that I finally landed at the Carter Fold, took my pictures, and was off again. (There are various old buildings and a little museum, but sadly they are only open on the weekends. I’d definitely consider making a trek back up to hear some music.)
I had a decent amount of ground to cover between Hiltons and Cumberland Gap, but it was a lovely drive. I will say that the highlight was one of those message signs in front of a church. I’m incredibly judgmental of churches based on what their signs say. Somewhat ironically, the church signs that anger me the most are the judgmental ones. I’m also not a fan of those quoting God, without actually quoting scripture; “Don’t make me come down there. - God.” You’ll also see a lot of these in billboard form, too. First off, that whole threaten-someone-into-believing thing is just not what it’s all about, in my opinion. Secondly, isn’t part of the whole religion thing respecting the word of God and revering him and such? Seems a little questionable to put words in God’s mouth. Anyway, the sign I saw somewhere in western Virginia read as such: SIGN MAN LAZY SO JUST COME TO CHURCH. That is simply excellent.


Eventually I reached the Cumberland Gap. The Park’s entrance is actually on the west side of the Gap so to get there I had to drive through the tunnel that runs beneath the Gap. That was just super cool (and a much easier way to travel than Daniel Boone probably had.) I got to the park after the visitor’s center had closed, but it was still daylight and I headed up to the Pinnacle Overlook. That was one exceptionally winding road. The views were very nice, and I got to do that thing where I stood with each foot in different states so I was technically in two places at once, but even with all that, driving through the tunnel was way cooler.


I departed the park on the Kentucky side and was feeling a bit peckish. I considered just waiting to eat until I reached whatever hotel I’d end up at that night, but then I realized, if you’re in Kentucky, you need to get some Kentucky Fried Chicken. Fortunately, there was one just up on the left so I purchased some tenders and looked into where I’d be sleeping tonight. I considered staying in Kentucky; I was just a stone’s throw from Harlan, after all. But the desire to maximize my stop-and-sees for tomorrow coupled with the reluctant realization that Raylan and Boyd would probably not be around drove me to select a rooming establishment in Tennessee. (BTW, that Raylan and Boyd thing is a reference to the show Justified, which is just darn good. It’s based on an Elmore Leonard story and stars the scrumtrillescent Timothy Olyphant as well as Douglasville’s own Walton Goggins [who I like more and more.] I suggest you check it out.)
Fun Fact: The first Kentucky Fried Chicken location was not in Kentucky at all. It was in Utah.
I soon landed at a nice and cheap Days Inn, complete with a super sweet desk clerk guy. After a stop at the vending machine, I made it to my room where I finished off my KFC and a can of soda. Foolishly, the soda I had selected was Mello Yello, which I had forgotten is super caffeinated. I was up a few hours later than I would have liked, but it did give me some time to plan for tomorrow, the final day of my Magical Mystery Tour. 

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